Black and White Wednesday...sometimes I go back...

Sometimes I go back...

and edit a picture..

from a while ago...

just because...

it makes me smile..

like this one....

last year I coached Reagan's team...

and I had a blast...

Reagan opted out of T-ball this year...

not so much her thing...

She's going to give soccer a shot...

which I won't be coaching....

but I'll be on the sidelines...

watching...

and

cheering her on...

and taking loads of pictures...

Come on over to The long road to China for some amazing black and whites...

The big bad MEAN Mom...

I am so very tired of being the big, bad, mean Mom.  I truly want whats best for my children.  I want them to be happy, productive members of society.  I want them to grow and learn every day.  I want them to smile and laugh with unbridled enthusiasm.  I want them to love wildly and completely.  I want them to push themselves and try new things.  I know they will fall but I want them to know that when they get back up and try again...they will be all the stronger for it...I want them to have unbelievable friendships that last a lifetime.  Someone to count on when everyone else has turned their backs...I want them to try new things until they find out what they are passionate about...

That being said....

I am so tired of being the big, bad, mean, Mom.

I am tired of being the Mom who is constantly nagging....
clean your room..do your homework...eat your dinner...bring down your dirty clothes...get ready for school...get ready for bed...brush your teeth...wear your retainer...change your clothes...take a shower...watch your sister...brush your hair...

the list goes on and on..

and the looks I get...

Seriously...

the looks that I get from my teenager..well if looks could kill..I'm just saying...

When I tell you to go do your homework...it's not because I just want you out of my hair...it's because...um... I dunno..you have to do your homework...it's your job and I expect you to do it right.

When I tell you to clean your room it isn't because I know how much you hate it and it makes me happy to piss you off....nope...it's because it's my job to teach you to respect your things.  To take care of your space.  And more importantly it is because I know that you work so much better in an environment that is straightened...

I do the things I do because I love you.

I hate that I have become the "yeller".   It is the mere fact that I have to ask my children 15 times to do something...and it still doesn't get done.  The first 15 times I ask... I try to do it nicely...by the 10th time...well... I have started raising my voice...and once I get to the 15th time...I am one yelling, screaming Mama...Just do it the first time and I wouldn't have to yell....

It is my job to prepare you for life...it's my job to teach you the the things you need to learn before you leave the nest...It's my job to give you the tools...to go out and kick some major butt in life....it's my job to give you wings...so you can fly. 

I always knew it was going to be hard...having a teenager.  I never went into it thinking it was going to be easy.  I always expected the yelling and the fighting... I just always thought I would always know what to do...that I wouldn't feel so incompetent.  There are whole days that go by that I think I am a terrible Mother.  There are fights that occur and before they are even over I know I didn't handle them  correctly.  There are times when I know I could have done things differently...

and from all of this....

I have figured out...

that neither one of us know what we are doing here...
her with her teenager hormones...
and me with my menopause hormones...
we are a mess.
but we love each other..
and we will get through this.
yes, we will fight...and scream and yell...
but we'll get through it...
she loves me in spite of my faults...
and I love her in spite of hers...
because even though there are so many things she does that drive me absolutely crazy...
she does so many other things that are good, and kind.
and although there might be things about her that I would change...
there are so many more things about her that I wouldn't change...
and yes...there are days when being the big bad mean mother is going to push me right over the edge...
most days...being her Mama..
is...
by far...
the most wonderful thing that has happened to me.

If I were a monster...my color would be GREEN...big ole' jealous GREEN!

There is no doubt about it.

I have the hardest working husband around.

He works seven days weeks, for weeks on end, so that the girls and I can have the things we need and want.  It can't be fun to have to work all the time.  He works Holiday's and weekends, he picks up overtime whenever he can.  He goes on trips to Connecticut, San Diego, Virginia and even as far as Hawaii, to provide for us. There are times when he is away for weeks, and even months.

I say all of this because I want it to be known.  To be stated that I know how hard he works, and that no one.  NO ONE.  Appreciates it more than I do.

That being said...sometimes it sucks being the one left at home.

I would LOVE to go away.  Stay at a hotel.  Have someone else clean my room and wash my sheets.  Have someone else make ALL of my meals and have nothing left to clean up afterwards... I would LOVE to get to wake up 10 minutes before I have to be at work...jump in the shower and get MYSELF ready, without worrying about anyone else.  I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I could come home from work and lay down and watch TV or read a book without having to give someone a tub or get someone ready for bed.

Now Pu-leeeese don't get me wrong.  I love being a Mama....There is nothing I love more than being a Mama... and I love that I have ALWAYS been there to do those things... I have always been there to tuck them in.  I have always been there to make sure their homework is done and to make sure they eat their vegetables.  I love being a Mama....and I know my husband works so very very hard so that I can do these things....because he knows doing these things is what makes me happy...

but it sure would be nice to not have to worry about anyone but myself...for a week or two...or maybe even a whole month...(who are we kidding...I could never leave them for that long...I would miss the crap-ola out of them!)

or to get a little recognition for being the one left behind. 

There is a huge part of my that feels like I am going to be super duper judged for that last line...

That because I am the "Mother" I should want to be with my kids all the time.  That I should be grateful  even, for the opportunity to be their Mother...

and I do want to be with my kids A LOT.  and I am grateful for the opportunity to Mother them...

but every once in a while I think we all need some down town...
and the thing is... as much as Ryan is working...he works 7 days a week here...at home...and he works 7 days a week there...where ever there happens to be....but when he is there...away... for awhile... he is getting a break.  A break I deserve too.  A break without feeling like someone should be calling DCYF on me. 

I've heard it all... "Oh, poor guy!  He must hate being away so much!"
"Oh that stinks he is missing so much...he must be sad about that"

how about a little more of this...

"Oh wow, that must suck doing it all by yourself..."
or
"Oh, you must be exhausted"

I am tired.  I am tired of doing ALL the laundry.  I am tired of being the ONLY one cooking dinner...and doing the dishes... I wish there was someone else around to car pool when someone else needs a tub or to get to bed just a little earlier.

We aren't right now nor will we be any time in the near future in a place where I can go away. 

Get away...and I need it. 

So much so...that apparently even going away for work looks good to me...

Thanks babe...for all you do.  I REALLY really  really appreciate and love you for it.... <3

Sunday Snapshot....Daddy

Yes... this was my Black and White Wednesday this week...

but I love it....

I love the pictures...

I love the words...

and I didn't really think anyone would mind...

if I recycled...

Recycling is a good thing right?

Come on over and join us for some fun @ 

"Fathers, be good to your daughters

Daughters will love like you do

Girls become lovers who turn into mothers

So mothers, be good to your daughters too"

"So I didn't cry when I got a black eye

As bad as it hurt, I just grinned

But when tough little boys grow up to be dads

They turn into big babies again."

"She was riding her first bike

Bouncing on the bed

And looking for a pillow fight

Running through the sprinkler

With a big popsicle grin

Dancing with her dad

Looking up at him"

"So let them be little,

'Cause they're only that way for a while.

Give 'em hope, give them praise,

Give them love every day.

Let 'em cry, let 'em giggle,

Let 'em sleep in the middle,

Oh, but let them be little."

"There goes my life.

There goes my future, my everything.

I love you, daddy good-night.

There goes my life."

 You're going to miss this

You're going to want this back

You're going to wish these days

Hadn't gone by so fast

These are some good times

So take a good look around

You may not know it now

But you're going to miss this

"Your beautiful baby from the outside in
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again
Go on, take on this whole world
But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl"



"Oh, with all that I've done wrong I must have
done something right.
To deserve your love every morning and butterfly
kisses at night"

Sunday Snapshot {these days}

There used to be a time when a good time meant getting all dressed up...it meant meeting up with friends and having a few drinks...it meant staying up all night and sleeping in until noon...

but these days... 

it's more about this...

and this..

these days...  A good time is about getting up at 6 to get two girls up and dressed...it's about using more hairspray and gel than any human ever should.  It's about leaving the house by 7:00am and sitting on hard wooden bleachers for 10 hours straight...It's about watching them take the mat and being blown away by how amazing they are.

it's about them.

These days... it's all about them...

and what they love...

and it just doesn't get any better than that....

and the fact that I get to watch them...
with this guy...

well that's just the icing on the cake.

Happy Sunday folks...

Link up with Sunday Snapshot for some wicked fun blogs....



  

 

She's FLIPPING amazing!

She's 5 folks..

what the heck is she going to be doing at 15?

Wish me luck folks.

I have a feeling I'm gonna need it.

Black and White Wednesday....{LOVE}

Black and White Wednesday...

JOIN THE BLACK AND WHITE FUN OVER ...HERE....

Sunday Snapshot {This is what love looks like}

Today I am linking up with my friend Stefanie over at Ni Hao Y'all...

Come join the fun...


Today we celebrated.

We celebrated that these two have been married for 68 years.

YES! I said 68 years...Nope...wasn't a typo...

These two have bee married for 68 years...

and they still are still smiling...

They have loved..

2 children

4 Grandchildren

7 Great-Grandchildren

They still get a little goofy...

and they've been through it all...

together...

Cancer...

moving...

deaths of loved ones...

birthdays

Christmas

Illness

They've been through it all...

and still they...

love...

and laugh...

because they have eachother...

they take care of eachother...

because when your going throught this crazy mixed up beautiful life...

it's nice to have someone you can count on...

it can make all the difference in the world knowing someone always, always has your back...

Just having someone to hold on to...

it can change your life.

Happy Anniversary Gram and Gramps...

You and the life you have created together are an inspiration.

I don't know if Ryan and I will be around long enough to make it ...68 years...

but we sure are gonna give it a shot...

and it means the world to me...

to have you...

to help show us the way!

Love you

7 facts...

So I "stole" this from a blog I follow...

and it seemed fun...

so thanks to Me and my boys... for not picking 15 friends...

so I could "tag" myself!

Here are the rules folks:

To accept this award you have to...

1. Thank the person who tagged you and link back to their blog

2. list 7 random facts about you...

and 

3. tag 15 friends to pass it on to...

Sounds like fun right?

Here we go....

1. My 13 year old daughter introduced me to my best friend.

2. Hawaii is my favorite place on the planet and I would move there in a heartbeat if I could.

3. I hate snow.

4. Feet disgust me.  Pretty much all feet...with the exception of baby feet.  They are smelly and gross and I don't want to see them... I don't even like my own feet...yet I would wear flip flops or go with bare feet every single day of my life if I could.  This MUST be a product of being a Florida girl.

5. I have yet to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. 

6.I love to technology.  I LOVE it.  I buy the newest thing...and two weeks later...the next newest thing comes out and I want that too....

7. some of my best friends are under 5 and not related to me.  I am a preschool teacher...and my kid are some of the coolest people I know....

I tag....

ourmothershipadventures

life with kaishon

Imperfect as perfectly possible

Delicious Ambiguity

Miss. Sheylala

Tina Michelle

counting seeds

Ordinary Miracles and the Crazy 8

The Gangs all here

fireworks and fireflies

football and fried rice

and um... anyone else who wants to participate...link back to me...and have fun!

HER passion..

My Roo...she's kind of a conundrum.  She is so laid back most of the time....there are times when you want her to get excited or show some enthusiasm...but not my Reilly Roo.  She's a cool as a cucumber type of chick.  Which most of the time... works around here.

The one thing Reilly is passionate about is....Cheerleading.

Boy does this kid LOVE to cheer!

She works so hard to try to perfect "the next skill" whatever that may be.
*this week that means she is now LANDING her standing back tuck!*

She works through her fears.
*this week she managed to twist out of an arabesque. crying all the while...but still just stubborn enough to do it!*

The thing about cheerleading is that it isn't like every other sport...Cheerleaders spend weeks and weeks getting ready for competitions.  Yes, they cheer at games...but really it's all about the competitions...

and this weekend there are two...One Saturday for one team! GO PRIME TIME ALL STARS!
and one Sunday!  GO DOVER MIDDLE SCHOOL!

and


next weekend there is one on Saturday... which both girls are in...

cause when you have one kid that is this passionate...
it kind of rubs off on the other kid.

and


the following weekend Reagan has ONE that last two days and is a couple of States away!

This is what they both wait for.

The COMPETITIONS...

and to be honest...

it's what I wait for too!

I've heard it more than once.

Those who can't play....cheer 

Can I just say...ohhhh this gets my goat.

These aren't girls out there trying to date a football player...
These aren't girls who can't do other things so they sadly choose to cheer because it's whats left...

NO WAY! 


Most of the football, basketball, baseball players I know....can't do what my kid can on a mat!

These girls are GOOD.

They work hard.

They choose this.

They love this.

I am so so SO proud of my cheerleaders!

Black and White Wednesday....{my girl}

Black and White Wednesday it wicked cool...
and it's here...

This child stole my heart the moment she was born...

and she has kept right on stealing it every day since.

Love you goofy!