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Thursday, August 11, 2011

The way he loves me.

He drives me crazy.
seriously.
crazy.

We are so different. 
And it shouldn't work.
But it does.

I can't believe it's been 8 years.
He keeps telling me we made it through the seven year itch...
So we're pretty much good to go...for the next 50 years.
We've been to a couple weddings this year and it's made me think about our day.
There are things I loved about our day and things I think I might change.
Then again...none of that matters.
I wouldn't change the man.  And that's what it's really about...
I may look back and think...
Maybe I should have had different bridesmaids...
Or what was I thinking when I picked that dress...
But really none of that matters...
Because I got the man.
The very best man.


8 years ago...
he became the hubster...
He walked into my work...with my Mama...got down on one knee and popped the question. 
I was super surprised.  I mean I knew it was coming.  We were already planning the wedding...but he said it wasn't official until I had a ring...and I sure didn't expect him to do it then...and there...

8 years.

I know to some it seems like the blink of an eye.
I mean we do  have a almost 14 13 year old daughter...
Let's please skip over the doing the math on that one...shall we?

Oh my god does this man drive me crazy!!!
Most of the time it's like we speak different languages. 
No really, there are times when we are saying the exact same thing...just in a different way...and we'll argue that the other person is wrong....until we finally figure out that we were saying the same thing all along.


This man...





is the best man.  I have ever met. 
I love very many things about him.
I love the way he always has to touch me when he is falling asleep and how he isn't a fan of holding hands...but he still holds mine every once in a while...because he knows I like it.  I love that he is silly and makes a point to make sure I laugh every single day.  I love that he is the man that knows me inside and out.  I love how honest he is...he is by far the most honest person I have ever met.  I love how hard he works.  I appreciate that he has an amazing work ethic and I know he does what he does for his family. I love that I know I am a better me...because he loves me.  I love that he is good... I don't just mean that he is good at things... I mean he is a good man. I love that I have someone I can depend on...he has my back.  EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.  I love that we go through this world together.  I love the way he jams out in the car with the girls and I....and I especially love when him and I jam out to an "old" 80's tune that the girls don't know.  I love the way he looks in a baseball hat...and love even more the way he looks in a cowboy hat! ;)  I love that he wants to give me the world...and although we struggle.... I love knowing...he would do it all...if he could....

but most of all I love the way he loves me. 

There are times when I wonder what I did to deserve him.  Why he puts up with my shit.  I can be such a head case, such a pain in the ass....but he just smiles at me...and keeps on truckin. 


There is NOTHING more important to this man than his family.


This day.
August 16th, 2003.
My life changed for the better.
When this man chose me to be his wife.
When he picked me to walk through the rest of his life with.

On this day.
When I took his last name.
And we went from a you and me...
to an us.

It was the
very very
best day.



I have pretty much lived my whole life thinking I would have a son.  (that is another post entirely)
This man should have a son.  He deserves a son.  Don't get me wrong...he loves his girls.  He says all the time that lucked out when he got them...no one  in the world will ever think he is as wonderful as they think he is....and as much as he probably should have had a son.  There isn't a man I know that is a better Father to Daughters.  He babysits the Reagan's baby dolls if we leave the house...and I can remember a time or two he had tea parties with Reilly and her Barbies.  They look at him and you can actually witness a man melt into a puddle on the floor.  I adore this about him.  The way he loves his girls makes me fall in love with him over and over again.




I love you Ryan! 

You're still the one.... I see...sitting next to me in that rocking chair...on the porch...surrounded by our babies...and their babies...and maybe even their babies, babies...

and for the record...

When I said I do.
It was the best decision I have ever made.










Friday, August 5, 2011

The truth about the lies...

Remember this blog...the one about 2 truths and 1 lie?

There were mine..


1. I have 5 tattoo's and want at least one more.
2. My Mother ran me over in her van.
3. I started smoking ciga-butts when I was 15 years old.


Yes...I have 5 tattoos.  I love them.  They are all little and I can pretty much hide all of them if I want to. I have a moon with a star I got with my cousins.  I have a dolphin, I got when I was 18 and stupid...I have a sun...I have a shamrock...for my Roo...and I have the Boston Red Sox B.  I love me some SOX!


I know I want one more.  I want a celtic cross with my baby's names in it...

Yes... My loving Mama ran me over with our Van.  Of course, she DIDN'T mean to.  This was back in the day...way...way...back in the day... you remember when kids sat in the front seat and didn't have to wear seat belts?  Well there I was...sitting in the front seat, but what we didn't know was I hadn't completely shut the front door to our van.  When we pulled out into very busy traffic, the door opened and I fell right out!  It was so scary, I was only 7 years old!  The back wheels of the van ran me over, but luckily I only broke a bone in my foot!  Crazy I know!  Either way...it's TRUE!

Nope... I didn't start smoking cigarette's at 15.  I started at 14.  Seriously.  14 years old....and I smoked for 15 years.  YUCK!  When Reilly was 5 she started in on her Dad and I.  In a very casual conversation I said I could go longer that Ryan without smoking...he said No way...and being the crazy completitive people that we are...we started..and every single day we would come home and one of us would say to the other "Did you smoke?"  all the while hoping and wishing that they had!  But we hadn't.  Either of us.  and then somewhere along the way...we stopped asking...and we just didn't smoke anymore...
I am not going to lie... I was one of those people...you know the ones that LOVED smoking.  I loved all of it...and I know it sounds crazy but I can't say I won't ever smoke again.  I think if I hit 80 I might take up that habit again....come on folks...if I make it to 80...I deserve every single bad habit I want!





BIG confessions this week...

I confess....

Today I gave my two (and a half) week notice and quit my job.
YIKES.

I confess....
I was terrified to do it...
but knew I had to.

I can't stand it when people are mad at me...
even if I don't like them.
even if I am NEVER going to see them again...
even if I have no intentions of changing my mind...

I can't stand people "not" liking me...
what the hell does that say about me?

I confess ....

I have other BIG plans..
I am opening my own child care center in my home.
I am super excited...
but am afraid people are going to be all judgy about my house.
It needs some work.
Its not all new and shit...
It has ugly wallpaper from the people before us.
It has ugly linoleum.
We're fixing it.
Slowly.
We're on a nonexistant tight budget...
but...
it's clean.
I guess that's what matters.

I confess...

I am super happy about already being "full"
One of my biggest fears was that I would haven't enough kids to make at least what I am making right now...at my job...
but I haven't even had the chance to advertise...
and I am full.
Word of mouth...
good stuff...
I wanna say..."yeah, I am that good of a teacher..." 
Cause I am ..
But I won't...say it...
Out loud anyway...  :)

I confess...

Ryan isn't really on board.
I mean he has done everything I have asked him to do to help me prepare "the space".
I think he thinks I am going into this and not really thinking it through...
I know there are down sides and up sides to this...
But I've made up my mind...
and if he is going to "fake" it...
I wish he'd do it better!

I confess...

Deep down. 
I am scared.
Like REALLY REALLY scared.

Link up with the super cool Mamarazzi over at Dandelion Wishes...
You'll love her...
I promise!


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Tuesday, August 2, 2011

2 truths and a lie!

Just found this on another blog...
and thought it was super fun!


2 truths....1 lie...
you figure it out...


1. I have 5 tattoo's and want at least one more.
2. My Mother ran me over in her van.
3. I started smoking ciga-butts when I was 15 years old.


Which one is the lie? 

YOU TELL ME!

Have fun...