Saturday, December 3, 2011

A Letter to my daughters...all the things I want to say...but don't.

To my girls.

When you were born and the nurses laid you in my arms...you were so small.  You still are.  Remember that.  No matter what...in the scheme of the WORLD.  You are small. If you ever need to be reminded of just how small you are...go stick your feet in the ocean...take a look out on the horizon and try to imagine how large it is.... There's a whole world out there for you to go out and explore.  Do it.  Try everything.  You never know what you might fall in love with until you try. 

You'll always regret the things you wish you did but didn't do over the things you did and wish you hadn't.

While you're out there...don't forget who and where you came from.  Who and Where you came from MADE you who you are today.  You did most of the work when it came to making you....but  you have been lucky enough to have some very amazing people in your life...and they had a whole lot to do with who you are too.  Don't forget them.  Remember them often. 

Although you are small.  That doesn't not, by any means mean you are insignifiacant.  Before you graduate do a report on Napolean.  Although he wasn't the greatest guy in the World.  He was little....he sure managed to accomplish an awful lot.

Remember that we (your parents) aren't perfect.  We've made plenty of mistakes...some we may have recocnized...others not so much.   We did try our best.  We did the best we could with what we had and we ALWAYS did what we thought was best for you...

In 15 years....when your therapist is telling you you can blame us for everything...remember that....and that we loved you from the minute we knew you were coming...and every single minute since.

Every single time a boy tells you your beautiful add the phrase "and smart".  You can say it outloud or you can say it in your head.  You are both beautiful girls...but your smart too.  Beauty is only going to take you so far...beauty fades...brains are FOREVER.

Be a LADY.
You don't have to show your goodies. If a guy really cares about you he wouldn't want you to anyway....There is a huge difference between sexy and sluty.  Be sexy. (can you wait unitl your 25?)
Don't be sluty...
or a slut for that matter.
God, please don't be a slut.
If a man cares about you, he'll wait...and if he won't wait...he isn't THE ONE.   It's kind of a good test...will you wait?  No...aww that's too bad..there's the flippin curb.
Your body is YOURS.  When you decide to give yourself to a man, make sure he is a man of worth.  A Man who will respect you and the gift you are giving him. 
There are plenty of guys out there that will want "flings" or "one night stands"  They want the satisfaction of having sex without any responsibilty of your feelings.  Those are the kind of men who will tell you anything you want to hear until they get what they want....and then you'll probably never see them again...

BEFORE you have sex with a man have a VERY serious conversation about what would happen if you got pregnant.  It takes two people to make a baby for a reason....because it takes two to RAISE a baby.

If you aren't ready for a baby...you aren't ready for sex.  Period.  This is just another reason you shouldn't have sex until your married.  Just saying.

When it comes to guys...listen to your friends.  They see him without the LOVE.  Love blinds us all.  If your friends think he's a jerk...he probably is.
If he doesn't treat your friends well...he isn't worth it.  Any guy that cares about you...cares about what YOU care about.

Speaking of friends...when you find a good one.  Hold on to her.  When you start middle school and high school your going to meet so many new people.  It would be so easy to leave her behind...to move on to a more popular crowd...don't do it...those friendships last a minute...you'll kick yourself...and you will miss your friend.

If you don't want anyone to know about it...you probably shouldn't be doing it.
If you have to hid it...it probably isn't a good idea.

Remember that conversation we used to have about that feeling in the pit of your stomach.  It's your body telling you it doesn't like the choices your making.  Listen to it...it's usually right.

Trust your instincts.  If you have a not so good feeling about someone...you are probably right. 

If you don't know if something is a good idea...think to yourself...what would my MOM want me to do...and then do that....you can pretty much never go wrong if your trying to do what your Momma would want.

I know you're going to take a drink here and there.
Please remember you HAVE to treat alcohol differently than everyone else....because trust me it's going to treat you differently than it treats everyone else...you and I both know why.

If you try a cigarette, I hope you hate it....and never do it again.  When your 16 you think it looks cool...but really, everyone that sees you is laughing at you and making fun of you for trying so hard to look and act older.  Smoking doesn't make you look older...it makes you look stupid.

Please remember you have to kiss a lot of frogs to meet your prince...at the time it seems like a joke. Here's the thing...you have to meet all the wrong ones so that you'll appriciate the right one.  He IS out there...and he WILL come along.  Don't spend your life waiting for a man...live your life...enjoy every second...your happiness does not depend on having a man in your life.

When you grow up and finally find the man of your dreams..make sure he asks for your Daddy's permission...it will break his heart to give you away....and at your wedding when he cries like a baby...remind him you'll always be his little girl...he'll need it.

Marry a man who makes you laugh.  In the craziness that comes from two individuals trying to make ONE life...things can get a little hairy.....a man who can make you laugh will help get you through it all.

Love fiercely.  Don't hold grudges.  Laugh every. single. day. Work hard....but be lazy every now and then. 
Take chances but be responsible when it counts....You want to be someone people can depend on.

Know when to say NO.  It doesn't mean you can't do it...it just means you choose not to. 

Eat dessert first every once in a while...or...just skip dinner all together and just eat dessert.

 Spurdge on the little things more than you think you should....The peice of mind you can get from a Mani/Pedi is worth so much more than the money you'll spend.

 If you want to have a good friend...be a good friend...

Stand up for those weaker than you. 

Don't let your kids be brats.  They can have brat moments...but don't let them BE brats.  Make them work.  Families are teams.  They work together.  Some parents are so busy not being mean that their children take control .Don't be your child's friend...they have enough friends...and they don't really want you to be their friend...they want you to be their P A R E N T.  

Don't let the tail wag the dog...

Be as involved as you can. The more I am involved the more I meet and get to know your friends and their parents. 

Find what you love...and then figure out a way to make money doing it. 

When you kids ask for a Dog or a Cat...remember your pups....remember Mr.  When you remember all that they brought to your lives...can you really say no.  You may have to say Not yet...but never say NO...those animals changed your world.  It is also a great way to teach responsibility.

Never. Ever. Ever. EVER.  Forget how much I love you.  The day you were born was the HAPPIEST day of my life.  You gave ME the greatest gift in the whole world.  You made me a Mother.  It is all I have ever wanted to be.  Thank you for that.  Thank you for being the kind of kids I can be proud of.  You have to realize that you must be pretty special people for someone to love you that much.  I can't imagine one breath without you. 

I love who you are and can't not wait to see who you become.