a little Roo

So there's this girl...

and she has my heart.

My sweet little Reilly...

Reilly has always been more concerned with others than herself.

Even as a little girl...she always took care of the people around her.

Reilly was the sweetest thing you would ever meet.

She had this way of telling people what to do...and getting them to do it...

without them even knowing if they wanted to our not.

Reilly and I spent a lot of time...

alone.

Just the two of us.

I was a single mom back then.

and it was Reilly and I against the world.

I worked full time...went to school full time and had Reilly...

Our house was crazy...but it was fun...and we had each other...

and back then..it was all we needed.

I think I may have been a little harder on Reilly than I should have been.

I was only 21 when I had Reilly.

I was so young...and I thought her behavior was a direct reflection on me as a parent..

if she behaved well...I was a good mom right...

WRONG...

Here's the thing...

Reilly would have been a good kid NO matter what I did...

Reilly is good.

Reilly is goodness.

and that.

has NOTHING to do with me.

Reilly and I learned together.

She was my first child.

My first daughter.

There were times I had no idea what I was doing...

and I know there were times I did it all WRONG.

but when push came to shove...

we figured it out as we went along...

and we managed to do it..

We didn't just get by...

We had a blast along the way...

Fast forward 10 years

Reilly is almost 13 years old.

a lot has changed in the past ten years...

I am no longer a single parent...

Reilly is no longer and only child...

we have moved to a different house...

I have a different job...

I am no longer in school...

but one thing has not changed...

Reilly is still the definition of good.

and there is the problem...

as Reilly is growing up...

and as she grows up her problems are getting bigger...

which means...so are mine...

I have gone from mending a scrapped knee...

to mending broken hearts...

It is so hard as a parent to know when to come to your child's rescue.

When your child is small...

you can deal with them fighting with their friends...

tell them to say "sorry" and make up.

If you see them being treated unfairly,

you do what you can to make it right...

Or at least try to explain the reasons...

But now...

I feel like I have spent the better part of the last 13 years giving my child roots.

teaching her right from wrong...

and now...

It's time to give her wing to fly...

to find herself...

to try new things...

to be good at them...

to be bad at them...

to figure out the things she likes...

and the things she doesn't...

I just hope she understands...

the ways she has changed my life.

SHE alone has made me a better person.

She has taught me more about the person I want to be..

then any other person I have EVER met.

I learn so much from her...and not just when she was little..

but still...

I hope she remembers ...

that I am going to keep making mistakes...

and I am probably always going to expect to much from her...

and I am probably always going to hold on too tight...

and I am probably always going to ask too much of her...

and I hope she understands...

I am still learning...

but that I have all the confidence in the world in her.

and I can't wait to see....

what this life has in store for her.

and that no matter what choices she makes...

I am right there...

beside her...

rooting her on...

being her biggest cheerleaders...
even when we're fighting...
and she thinks she hates me...
I will always be there...

because no one...NO ONE...

believes in her...

the way I do.

I love you ROO.