I have become the Mother of a teenager.
Now that this has happened.
I realize I owe you an apology.
I have a daughter who is just like me...
I am sorry for all of the times I stomped up the stairs....for the times I rolled my eyes and thought you had no idea what you were talking about. I am sorry for the times I acted like you were the last person on the planet I wanted to be around. I am sorry that I was so stubborn.
I am sorry if I made you cry and I frustrated you to NO end. I am sorry if I made things 100 times more difficult for you...just because I could. I am sorry if I didn't appreciate everything you did for me, but instead expected it. I am sorry that I didn't realize that you did EVERYTHING you did for me, but saw ALL of the things you DIDN'T do for me.
I am so very sorry that I could NEVER manage to keep my room clean, and I didn't wear my retainer. I am sorry that my clothes were always covering the bottom of my closet and even more sorry for the GROSS food you would find hidden in my bedroom.
I am sorry I didn't do my homework and didn't worry about my grades. YES, I did worry about what I was wearing more than I did about any tests. I talked on the phone too late and I didn't eat the things that were good for me.
I am sorry for every single time I slammed my door, and for them times I yelled at you and said things I didn't mean. I wish I could take back every single time I disagreed with you...because it felt good...
I want you to know that you were right.
You were right about the boys who broke my heart. You were right about trying harder in school. You were right about my friends and who were real and who were not. You were right about talking behind peoples backs and how is would come back to bite me.
I wish I had listened to you when you told me life gets harder, and those were the best days of my life. I wish I had listened to you when you told me to try new things and I really wish I had listened to you when you told me to slow down...that I didn't have to grow up so fast, to slow down...that there was time...lots of time.
Now that so much time has passed. I know it doesn't change anything NOW...but I just wanted you to know.
I appreciate you.
I love you.
I wish I hadn't given you such a hard time...
and more than anything....
I wish I had listened more.
(and by the way...now that I KNOW you know so much more than me)
answer me this...
I know she's only 12...
but when, oh when, does it end.
Happy Birthday Mama Ruth.